I was asked this question | Challenger Life Forums

I was asked this question

Discussion in 'Suggestions, Feedback, Tech Support.' started by JimB, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. JimB

    JimB Guest

    Is your wish that the forum become more of a free to say what you want type of forum? Uncensored?

    I felt that this question should be answered publicly.

    Free to give an opinion, whether popular or not, yes.

    When someone posts one of the following:

    I am thinking of doing this, what do you think?

    I have done this, what do you think?

    I have seen this, what do you think?

    People should be allowed to give their honest opinion. The poster specifically asked for it. If the poster gets bent out of shape, that is their issue.

    Now, when someone posts one of the following:

    I am thinking of doing this.

    I have done this.

    But does not ask specifically for an opinion, if people want to post an opinion, they should have that right. Though the poster did not specifically ask for an opinion, he made it public, subject to be commented on. Again, if the poster gets bent out of shape, that is their issue.


    Example:

    I think the black rear spoiler looks better on the HO than the body colored spoiler. I was going to swap mine out. But after putting on the rear stobe extensions, I felt the black rear spolier would be too much black, with the black stipes extending to the rear plus the black around the tail lights.

    I did not post any of this but if I did, and someone said they think the black spoiler would still look better, that is his opinion and he should be able to voice it. I then could have decided to stay with mine or go with his.

    Now, let's say I changed the rear spoiler out to the black one and posted it. And someone said that he felt it was too much black with the extended stipes. It looks like a big block letter U going around the car. That is his opinion and he should be able to voice it. I then could have relooked at it and could have decided to stay with mine or go with his.
     
  2. Houdini

    Houdini Platinum Level Supporter

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    You're still not grasping it. It is not what someone says when giving their opinion, per se, it's the words they use to say it.

    In response to a solicitation of opinions:

    "I would never do that. It looks ridiculous."

    "I would never do that. It just doesn't look good."

    "I would never do that. That look isn't for me."

    Now, if you can't distinguish the differences there, I'll never be able to explain it to you.





    So basically you are saying it doesn't matter if an opinion was solicited, you should be able to respond using any choice of words, and "if the poster gets bent out of shape, that is their issue."


    I will agree that if someone posts something on a public forum, it's an implicit solicitation of opinions. An explicit solicitation is not required.

    No, plain and simple. See the example above.


    It is not poster's issue if someone replies with what can reasonably be seen as rudeness, meanness, condescending, verbally abusive, personal attacks, etc., etc., etc.

    If you, or anyone, cannot fully understand EVERYTHING I just wrote, this is not the forum for you. There is at least one other Challenger forum that would be a better fit, and one other Challenger forum that would be a perfect fit.
     
  3. Theresa

    Theresa Challenger Life Moderator Staff Member

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    Jim, I may have missed something along the way, but about what exactly are you angry? I have not seen deleted any of the posts in which you initially offered your opinion. Granted, I might have missed them, but the only post of yours that I saw deleted was the one Houdini labeled as instigating, and to tell the truth, I have to agree with him. You presented no new opinion, but restated existing ones rather harshly and personally in a combative manner.

    I assume all of this is due to the "pissing contest" (in Nate's words) between him and Dave. Are you seriously angry because Nate's post, which you saw as supporting you, was deleted? Yes, he seemed to support your opinion in that he was also calling out on the subject, but it went further. And do you really need the support of someone else when stating your own opinion?

    This whole thing has gotten way out of hand. Houdini has already stated this, but I will reiterate: the posts that were deleted were those that had to do with the spat, and only those that had to do with the spat. It began the evening before, we moderators ignored it, I personally hoped the two of them would just hash things out to a resolution, and that is exactly what they did. I'm sorry if you happened to miss the chance to jump in there, but the posts totally detracted from the thread and must have looked ridiculous to any guests who were viewing it. For heaven's sake, we aren't in middle school.

    If you seriously need to aim your anger at someone, then aim it at me, because I'm the mod who deleted the posts. I had Houdini's blessings to do so, but I alone am the "guilty" party. There is no reason I need to tell this to you, except that it needs to end. So now you have your target - flame away and leave everyone else out of it.
     
  4. demonbydesign

    demonbydesign New Member

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    You were after a certain point in my opinion antagonizing the situation and pushing the envelope. As you said, this was all part of your grand "experiment". :neener:

    Least you know more now I suppose? :shrug:

    To me, opinions like yours are like...

    jk

    Look, for me moderating here is done by Dave granting the moderators to use "common sense". It mainly works to keep civility in terms of b**ch slapping getting out of hand.

    The big question I have for you Jim is...in regards to your personal limits of what words can be used towards another on the forum, and how many times do members need to answer back and forth in disagreement before you feel a mod needs to step in? In your opinion of course? See, I just don't think it's an easy answer. And that's why the "common sense" moderating is good enough for me. Generally it seems to work.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2011
  5. sickr bee

    sickr bee Well-Known Member

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    It IS different here, we are more civil here as it's small now, but is growing. I would rather post a good example or say nothing at all if idont care for it. The problem is once U post anything, it can be deleted but it lives in the memories of us that are subscribed to the thread, you can't delete that but I wouldn't stress over it as you seem to be doing! It's all good brother, I was deleted post here also a time ago, I THINK I was merely misunderstood at the time, but stuff happens and I'm GLAD it was deleted but I know several read it before so bothers me Lil'. Mods dont have such an easy time as we do, it's little easier at THIS site because we are little more laid back, but every now an then we REALLY make em work for their no pay! I KNOW that now Ts upset she may have rung your bell, that alone should be enough to drop this and move on, hope! U are an asset here man, and allways a friend to us all! Mark
     
  6. idmtfirefighter

    idmtfirefighter Well-Known Member

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    This is my main gripe with other forums and why I like it here so much.
    other forums will tolerate posts like...that looks like s**t, what were you thinking? (not saying anyone here has ever posted a response like that mind you)
    Contrasted with...not something I would do but it's your car so mod on which expresses you don't care for it but isn't insulting in the process
    I recently posted (on another forum) on an owners 392 seat pics, not a mod mind you, but from the factory delivered.
    I told him they looked bad but it was the quality of the leather seats...they looked loose, poorly fit, and wrinkled.
    My nearly two year old SE leather seats don't look that poor in quality.
    You should not expect poor quality that looks bad on a $45K+ brand new car.

    I'll end with this...we have the friendliest and most civil challenger forum that is running right now.
    I very much enjoy all the folks here.
    Do we always agree no? But we maintain friendly camaraderie and respect for each other
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2011
  7. demonbydesign

    demonbydesign New Member

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    FYI guys, Jim emailed me and told me that he's been banned.

    I have talked to him privately many times before, even over the phone recently. Still, I let him know how I feel and don't agree totally with his point of view on this all. I also told him I like it here and I like how it's run with a "Common Sense" type of moderating. Yes, it's flawed and yes it's still a site that Houdini will operate as he sees fit for better or for worse. And for times when I want to cut loose with more immature adult language I peruse another forum for that.

    However (and maybe I should be commenting on this in private with you Houdini instead of in public space, so I might make an apology now?) I personally feel that from what I seen here he shouldn't have been banned. Then again, maybe I don't know the whole story. Plus, like I mentioned it's not my website either. Hey, I'm just talking out loud...with some common sense I hope! lol

    Bottom line is that for me it's always a goddamn shame that people take what should be a F'n fun thing like owning a Challenger and it turns into a serious type of issue in their minds. Crazy! I bought my car for fun...plain and simple. This will roll off my back on way or another and I will continue to let my ownership experience put an evil grin on my mug.
     
  8. seadoofree98

    seadoofree98 Guest

    Folks,
    I have made a mense with Nate. We currently are working on things. As far as Jim is concerned, I already apologized to him. Check back in the posts and you will see that I made the attempt to bury the scenario.
    If this is going to continue, you moderators have a choice to do what you need to do. I do not appreciate being beat up by others because of conflicting (dreams) of mine for my car. Others seem to think that is not protocol for this site. I welcome remarks, but will NOT be cornered by anyone. I spent 21 years taking orders from others; that time is up!
    You will see that I have welcomed many new members and stated that there are a lot of great people here. I just don't post that for fun! I mean it. Look at Theresa, she talked to me and helped me with other things. She took the "extra mile" to help me through tough times. I must be honest and tell you that my youngest son died in 2009 from a rare kidney disorder. My mind is still elsewhere and it tends to wonder. No, I am not looking for sympathy. Just letting you know where I stand.

    Let me know by PM what you want me to do. I will honor it and I hope you see that I am trying to make this whole ordeal work out. There is no one in here I don't like.
    You are great people and shed great advice about things.

    Thank You,
    -FREE-
     
  9. Theresa

    Theresa Challenger Life Moderator Staff Member

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    Tony, there was more than what you know. There was more than what I know. Just to make it clear (and yes, I'm on the defensive, and Sickr is right, I'm upset), I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH JIM BEING BANNED. I obviously ticked him off, but anything that happened after that was his own doing.

    Dave, you're fine and I don't think there is anything you need to do. Just realize that sometimes people say (type) things before thinking it through, and we also sometimes get a little silly and it comes out wrong. Misunderstandings happen and we try to straighten them out. Like you, we all just want to have a good time.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2011
  10. Houdini

    Houdini Platinum Level Supporter

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    Yes, the IP addresses he used to access the site have been blocked.

    Any action taken by any moderator or administrator would be viewed as flawed by someone, depending on ones point of view. It's impossible to please everyone all the time.

    Commenting in public is fine. The choice to block him wasn't easy - in the past he has been a great guy. But having a history of being a great guy doesn't excuse all actions. Chris Brown was probably considered a great guy by a lot of people at one time... till he beat up his girlfriend. I'm not making a comparison between JimB and Chris Brown, just pointing out that prior good behavior doesn't prevent the consequences of bad behavior.

    It wasn't one big thing he did. It was more of a straw that broke the camels back. He even said he was "experimenting" to find the line... and when he found it, he crossed it - knowing what the result would likely be. I don't like blocking or banning users, particularly ones that have earned over 500 rep points, and contributed 425 posts. In my opinion he had a choice to make, and made the wrong choice.


    P.S. I alone made the decision to block him. And in this instance, did not even solicit input from the moderators.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2011
  11. seadoofree98

    seadoofree98 Guest

    Thanks Theresea,
    You are the best! I will continue on and try to maintain myself better. No more bad posts from me, I promise. If I get upset about anything, i will log off and cool off before posting. I have tried to be a model citizen......

    Thank you,
    Dave "FREE"
     
  12. Theresa

    Theresa Challenger Life Moderator Staff Member

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    :thumbupleft: I try to do that, too. It'll work out in the end.
     
  13. 2B3LJ

    2B3LJ New Member

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    you know what i think

    i think everyones car SUCKS but mine!!!!! so there:nutkick: and i hope that settles this little squabble
     
  14. idmtfirefighter

    idmtfirefighter Well-Known Member

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    We all come from different backgrounds, experiences, and life stories. We have different viewpoints, opinions and ways of thinking and as long as in the end we can all agree that I'M RIGHT...we can all get along...bwahahahahahaha ;)
     
  15. demonbydesign

    demonbydesign New Member

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    I talked to SeeFree in private and I can now say that he's an o.k. guy. Originally I misunderstood him and in return him by me (which is easy to do). We are cool now SeeFree(Dave). Your alright in the book of Demon! LOL!

    You take care of yourself and be careful driving that awesome ride you have! No more foolish posts got it? LOL!

    just kidding. Ask questions buddy and have fun.

    Tony
     
  16. Hesser

    Hesser Well-Known Member

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    I have been as Houdini says "Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be." about this but now I hope I can put in my two cents. I learned so much back in April and May when I started here. I learned to go back and look at several other peoples posts (in my case those with 5 stars) to see what was right and wrong. I got called out on something I said and just backed out and pm'ed the person that called me out to explain. Going public with your opinions scared me at first. I have noticed that several newbee's that get positive Hi's and Glad to have you's tend to be more likely to post again. Those that have been questioned about anything in their first couple posts tend not post any more. Peace and Love, be nice or don't be.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2011
  17. shok

    shok New Member

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    Wow this is all some pretty serious sounding stuff for this forum. I've only seen a couple of the Jim guy's post, and they were the jerky ones. If this was actually an experiment he wanted to perform well he now has all his data.
    We really should just get back to admiring how awesome my car is now :tease:
     
  18. IntimidatorR/T

    IntimidatorR/T Challenger Life Moderator Staff Member Ride of the Month

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    DANG IT!!! I go off to buy a car and look what happens around here!!!!:bigdamncomputer::bigcop:
     
  19. seadoofree98

    seadoofree98 Guest

    Demon,
    You got it. Demon is a very intelligent man and he knows his car. Maybe one day (when I grow up) I will be able to know my car. (lol). To all, I will not post foolish things on the site. My modifications has changed. My dreams are still a sleeper for Christine. Have a great week everyone!

    Take Care Demon!
    Dave
     
  20. demonbydesign

    demonbydesign New Member

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    ;):cool::thumbupleft:

    You da man Dave. (too many Dave's around here anymore though) lol
     

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